Past couple of weeks, I have been travelling. Blame that on work. Couldn't keep up much with the blogs I do visit and that sucks. And I guess this will be the routine until this month end, atleast.
Anyways, What gave me smile again this week was the sentencing of Paris Hilton to 45 days jail. It was really amusing coz I bet this was not at all on her mind or on her list of intentional publicity stunts. I am sure that will put a brake on her stupid antics.
In the other news, I didn't know whether to laugh or be frown on reading our dear MP actively involved in human trafficking. On one hand, I would like to recommend him to Darwin awards for being utterly stupid and on other hand it just shows how pathetic our political system has become these days. MPs elected to work for people are busy working for themselves and minting money.
I really wish we have some sort of system where by we can call our elected representatives on regular basis and ask them what they have done, what they have been doing and what they are upto. That way they cannot just slip into oblivion. Just the same way as my local MP Govinda who cannot be traced after he got elected. I am sure he and his stooges will be back just in time for election. Just wish they can be reached or better yet, be forced to reach thier electorate.
I would be taking a vacation break this week until this month end to be with family in India. I might not be able to keep my blog updated during this month though I may try.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
Summertime
The gory incident at Virginia tech last week took Minal Panchal from mumbai as one of its victims. I followed her profile in myspace and that left me disturbed. Because one evening she was laughing and chatting with friends in internet world and the next afternoon that very space had people posting condolence messages for her. Life's like this?! I am glad they deleted that profile. Would have been too painful for friends.
For those of you in India, not staying in cities, Load shedding would now be a part of daily routine. Most of the places, electricity is out for more than 12 hours. It is year 2007 and we are putting Satellites to space, making long range missles, and spending billions of dollars with it. Wonder why our government cannot spend some money on much needed welfare of providing basic amenities to the people? How much and what does it take to put this load shedding issue on priority? This is just not right.
With temperatures soaring past 85F this weekend, I can finally feel the arrival of spring/summer. This also reminds me to talk about what I did last-10s summers as tagged by Cuckoo. I have promised Starry that I would be taking her tag first so this is not exactly a tag.
About summer time, unlike most, I didnt get a chance to spend vacation far off away from my town. No beautiful resorts, no hill station. Beaches yes, but they were around my place if that counts.
During school days, I spent most of my vacation playing around with friends all day. During college, there was vacation but all of it was spent for class assignments and getting ready for job/career-in-waiting. Nothing interesting there, same usual books stuff mostly.
Apart from that usual ritual, Summer time also(and almost always) meant getting a chance to attend shaadis in relatives and friends place. I loved that the most because that is where I learnt/get to flirt;) Sometimes helping friends and sometimes being helped. Always, looked forward for shaadis. Funny thing is over the time, when I really wanted to be in such shaadi occasions, work pulled me far apart and now shaadi for me is very formal.
Then there was our regular trip to village farm where we would enjoy plucking green mangoes and other fruits. There were lots of fruit trees in farm but over the time, they are dwindling in numbers. Just love those moments.
Finally, One thing I really love about summer vacation is big family getogether. Neices, nephews numbering in 10s just making house go wild. Still it is fun. Talking of gettogether, I would be in India for couple of weeks next month.
There is one more update on personal front which I think I can share here. For those of you with sharp memory, few months back, I said I was supposed get married in May as per family ultimatum. After lots of convincing, family has agreed to keep year end as timeframe. I know I will coz I promised them this time :)
For those of you in India, not staying in cities, Load shedding would now be a part of daily routine. Most of the places, electricity is out for more than 12 hours. It is year 2007 and we are putting Satellites to space, making long range missles, and spending billions of dollars with it. Wonder why our government cannot spend some money on much needed welfare of providing basic amenities to the people? How much and what does it take to put this load shedding issue on priority? This is just not right.
With temperatures soaring past 85F this weekend, I can finally feel the arrival of spring/summer. This also reminds me to talk about what I did last-10s summers as tagged by Cuckoo. I have promised Starry that I would be taking her tag first so this is not exactly a tag.
About summer time, unlike most, I didnt get a chance to spend vacation far off away from my town. No beautiful resorts, no hill station. Beaches yes, but they were around my place if that counts.
During school days, I spent most of my vacation playing around with friends all day. During college, there was vacation but all of it was spent for class assignments and getting ready for job/career-in-waiting. Nothing interesting there, same usual books stuff mostly.
Apart from that usual ritual, Summer time also(and almost always) meant getting a chance to attend shaadis in relatives and friends place. I loved that the most because that is where I learnt/get to flirt;) Sometimes helping friends and sometimes being helped. Always, looked forward for shaadis. Funny thing is over the time, when I really wanted to be in such shaadi occasions, work pulled me far apart and now shaadi for me is very formal.
Then there was our regular trip to village farm where we would enjoy plucking green mangoes and other fruits. There were lots of fruit trees in farm but over the time, they are dwindling in numbers. Just love those moments.
Finally, One thing I really love about summer vacation is big family getogether. Neices, nephews numbering in 10s just making house go wild. Still it is fun. Talking of gettogether, I would be in India for couple of weeks next month.
There is one more update on personal front which I think I can share here. For those of you with sharp memory, few months back, I said I was supposed get married in May as per family ultimatum. After lots of convincing, family has agreed to keep year end as timeframe. I know I will coz I promised them this time :)
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Sanjaya
Sanjaya has survived into top 9 of American Idol and I have said before that he does not have good vocal. But it amazes me how luck or fate would shine on us sometimes like sanjaya making him most popular contestant. He is the center of talk at talk-shows, comedy central, office, magazines, and where not. Truly like he said, the sanjaya universe ;)
Last week I had friends visit me. As usual with everyone, I asked them to take thier shoes off before they walks all around the house. They were not pleased. I do have living room where shoes are okay if incase there is anyone who just cannot keep shoes out. But like it or not, I have a strict policy that shoes beyond living room are just not fine with me. I do know of people who even sleeps with thier shoes on, all rolling together with comforters and bedsheets and them. But that is them and I think me is just me.
This past week, scientists all over the world came together at Brussels to put the scary report out that world is warming faster than anyone envisioned. I know they put out such reports every year but this time they have lots of facts to back thier case. Again we can ignore the findings but very soon it is going to affect us lot more and lot worse. I dont know what we as individual can do to help but governments should really act fast.
Life has been busy. First the move, now catch-up to social world. Have a nice day.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Move
Few Stray thoughts for today:
India is out of world cup and I hope most of us must be trying to forget horrible matches we played. I am never too much into cricket but this year I was somewhat hooked to results what with so many controversies and happenings. Ok I will not talk more about what everyone is trying to forget.
Looks like Shakira's show was entertaining to many of her fans. I like her few songs but dont think I can listen to all her songs. But I guess the whole point is to be in crowd with her. That I know is fun and all the worth.
One more earthquake rocks Japan. Ever since that Latur Earthquake in India many many years back, I have started to grow scared of earthquakes. Even the very recent Indonasian Big one with Tsunami scared the hell out of me. Earthquake I think is one natural phenomenon which man may never conquer. Whatever but one thing to be noted is that the Japanese have earthquake proof buildings to prevent major loss of life. Am sure similar intense ones would cause big casualty in other developing countries.
Has anyone noticed something about Bachan family in media. I am talking about Amar Singh. This guy is with Amitabh or Abhishek in every picture or function and I have no idea what is he doing there. Agreed that he helped Amitabh in times of some difficulty but is it right for him to just follow Bachans all around like a tail? I would rephrase SRK's comments on him, This politician really has some evil intentions. Both in eyes as well as his head :)
Just like I said before that Himesh should stick with music direction, Sonu Nigam should stick to his singing. Sonu is versatile singer but he is a terrible actor. Check this song, love the way he sang this awesome song but couldnt watch him in video. I am not even talking about his movies which came out couple of years back...
I just finished moving to new home today. Same city, just few blocks away. But still I can say that moving is a pain. On positive side, I am really blessed with many good friends who helped to make my move a smooth one. Not to mention each one taking turn to feed me with all the fav foods. Guess that's one of very few blessings of being a bachelor ;)
Hope you all had a good weekend.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Snowstorm
It was blazing hot day before and today we have yet another snowstorm. True to its unpredictable nature, weather they say is following El Nino factor. Ofcourse, along with global warming. Roads were deadly dangerous on way back from office and it is not many times I pray while driving ;) Picture above taken just before I was approaching my house next left.
If you have been following Cricket, you may have noticed one or two minnows in each league group. I dont understand why Scotland, Bangladesh, Dutch, Canada should be asked to play with big teams to humiliate themselves. If at all they should be competing, shouldnt they be put to test each other and the best of them advance to next round. At least they will have better confidence and spared from humiliation match and again?!
I was watching this movie 'Unhitched' yesterday and it reminded me of our bollywood movie Pardes where SRK snatches the bride right under wedding 'mandap'. Amazing how director changes the script mid-movie to potray the nice groom as bad guy towards the end just so that our hero can win the bride. Yeah I know it happens in movies but cannot they have better script especially when they have enough budget?
Reports of more than 50 policemen being killed by maoist insurgents yesterday in eastern India was sad and shocking. Magnitude of such violence time and again just shows how ultras are getting more and more sophisticated. It is year 2007 and these militants are still hiding in jungles training to kill people. Wonder if there no tomorrow for such idiots?
Many of you know about statcounter.com but I am starting to like the new features so much that I spend quite a time investigating my website thru projects offered by this site. Quite interesting I would say. Try it if you haven't already.
I was very excited yesterday to hear that Sonu Nigam and Asha Bhosle are going to be here for musical concert. Excitement was short lived when I read today that Sonu has backed off apparently due to him not being promoted over Asha Bhosle. Stars and thier antics.
Talking about singers, I really wish Himesh Reshamiya concentrate on his music rather than tear apart his horrible vocal cord song after song. Honestly, I like his music and even loved his few songs. But he has to control his excitement and sing only when needed.
And yes, Sanjaya Malakar is still winning. This time I wont wine about his staying back. Let people and his fate decide ;)
Have a nice weekend!!
Monday, March 12, 2007
Cricket
Just some notes for today.
Cricket - World cup series gets underway today and I really dont know who the favorites are this year. Australia seemed unbeatable until thier recent series with South Africa and New Zealand. Not much hope on Indian team this year but with all players really going to try thier best, it would be worth a dekho. Sachin might be playing his last, Ganguly wants to outdo Chappell, Dravid will try to prove hez the captain, Sehwag to save his sinking career and Dhoni to keep himself in style...
American Idol - I really wanted Sanjaya Malakar to get into Top 12 and he is in. But to be very honest, during that last round, his performance sucked. I thought he was out but think all the prayers and votes did the trick for him. Not that I vote, but I really hope votes go out to right and best contestant the next time. Lets be fair.
Latest news says Halliburton plans to move headquarters to Dubai. After all rich people around the world scrambling to buy mansions in now amazingly beautiful Dubai, Corporates are getting into this race too. Whatever but this sure is going to drag lots of controversies with it.
Shocker of the day, well, week, or year, was to see Federer lose in Indian Wells Tennis Open. Ends his 41 match winning streak. Still salute to champ.
--------------------------------------
Here is something to make you smile,
Santa: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too
--------------------------------------
I wrote your name on the sand
......it got washed away,
I wrote your name in air
......it got blown away,
So i wrote your name in my heart,
......I got a HEART ATTACK
--------------------------------------
Have a good day.
Cricket - World cup series gets underway today and I really dont know who the favorites are this year. Australia seemed unbeatable until thier recent series with South Africa and New Zealand. Not much hope on Indian team this year but with all players really going to try thier best, it would be worth a dekho. Sachin might be playing his last, Ganguly wants to outdo Chappell, Dravid will try to prove hez the captain, Sehwag to save his sinking career and Dhoni to keep himself in style...
American Idol - I really wanted Sanjaya Malakar to get into Top 12 and he is in. But to be very honest, during that last round, his performance sucked. I thought he was out but think all the prayers and votes did the trick for him. Not that I vote, but I really hope votes go out to right and best contestant the next time. Lets be fair.
Latest news says Halliburton plans to move headquarters to Dubai. After all rich people around the world scrambling to buy mansions in now amazingly beautiful Dubai, Corporates are getting into this race too. Whatever but this sure is going to drag lots of controversies with it.
Shocker of the day, well, week, or year, was to see Federer lose in Indian Wells Tennis Open. Ends his 41 match winning streak. Still salute to champ.
--------------------------------------
Here is something to make you smile,
Santa: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too
--------------------------------------
I wrote your name on the sand
......it got washed away,
I wrote your name in air
......it got blown away,
So i wrote your name in my heart,
......I got a HEART ATTACK
--------------------------------------
Have a good day.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Save Job
Got this cartoon long time before but when I got this again yesterday, I was just smiling. So very true at so many work places.
Note : The cartoon shows just men, but it is also prevalent to women.
I have mentioned in my earlier post how Britney and Paris keep competing with each other to grab media headlines. This time it was how and why britney shaved her head. Lets wait for Paris now. No I do not take fancy to read thier articles but it is good thing to introspect our world which just couldn't let go people like them. Paris and Britney may be stupid and all bad but what amazes me is the fact that they keep featuring in almost all newspaper round the globe. This makes them smarter than most of us, we can just envy them ;)
And those of you around Mumbai and Maharastra must be aware of how power supply is getting scarcer by day. Just unbelievable that in 2007, we should have electricity problem.
Early in January, I was not happy that we didn't have good winter this season. My wish was more than granted with four snowstorms till date and still counting. As I am writing this post, blizzard is what I see outside...
Note : The cartoon shows just men, but it is also prevalent to women.
I have mentioned in my earlier post how Britney and Paris keep competing with each other to grab media headlines. This time it was how and why britney shaved her head. Lets wait for Paris now. No I do not take fancy to read thier articles but it is good thing to introspect our world which just couldn't let go people like them. Paris and Britney may be stupid and all bad but what amazes me is the fact that they keep featuring in almost all newspaper round the globe. This makes them smarter than most of us, we can just envy them ;)
And those of you around Mumbai and Maharastra must be aware of how power supply is getting scarcer by day. Just unbelievable that in 2007, we should have electricity problem.
Early in January, I was not happy that we didn't have good winter this season. My wish was more than granted with four snowstorms till date and still counting. As I am writing this post, blizzard is what I see outside...
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Witty and Good.
Few jokes I received in my email, enjoy.
----------------------
Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Sir Please have a seat, we serve everyone.
----------------------
Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?
----------------------
Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
----------------------
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and The game went into extra time.
----------------------
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
----------------------
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
----------------------
A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a Commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have A scotch and soda."
----------------------
Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, Shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science."
----------------------
And Paris Hilton is back, this time with some video where she is seen using all kind of foul language. I mean really foul and prohibited.
----------------------
Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Sir Please have a seat, we serve everyone.
----------------------
Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?
----------------------
Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
----------------------
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and The game went into extra time.
----------------------
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
----------------------
Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
----------------------
A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a Commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have A scotch and soda."
----------------------
Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, Shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science."
----------------------
And Paris Hilton is back, this time with some video where she is seen using all kind of foul language. I mean really foul and prohibited.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Youtube
Fox subpoenas Youtube over pirated '24' show. This was heading I happened to read across many news websites. Couple of things here. First, I got to read new word 'subpoena' which the dictionary tells me means 'A writ requiring appearance in court to give testimony'. Second, there is afterall someone not happy with Youtube and keeping tab of what is happening in Youtube.
Youtube has been one of my fav website over the internet over past many months. It is just amazing how you can watch videos of practically anything from movies to sports to personal clips to hidden videos. Anytime I am bored or have some time to kill, Youtube is my website. No wonder Google bought it for tens of billions of dollars last year.
So far so good. It was just oflate that I was wondering how someone could post videos of just about anything like new pirated movies, unrated clips etc. How bad must be losses of new movies which appear in websites like Youtube. Todays news was kindof welcome relief to such thoughts. Someone had to step up to stop piracy. Companies like Youtube should expose people who indulge in piracy and copyright infringement. Let everyone learn to say NO to piracy.
------------------------------------
Heard Shilpa Shetty's mom flew to london this week to be with her daughter(in times of publicity). What a cheap act!!!
------------------------------------
Latest incident at Nithari where Lawyers manhandled accused killers was a shame, especially when Lawyers were involved. Sincerly think that law should take its own course in punishing whoever breaks the law.
------------------------------------
And talking of next US president, I think it's Hilary Clinton.
------------------------------------
Have a nice weekend...
Youtube has been one of my fav website over the internet over past many months. It is just amazing how you can watch videos of practically anything from movies to sports to personal clips to hidden videos. Anytime I am bored or have some time to kill, Youtube is my website. No wonder Google bought it for tens of billions of dollars last year.
So far so good. It was just oflate that I was wondering how someone could post videos of just about anything like new pirated movies, unrated clips etc. How bad must be losses of new movies which appear in websites like Youtube. Todays news was kindof welcome relief to such thoughts. Someone had to step up to stop piracy. Companies like Youtube should expose people who indulge in piracy and copyright infringement. Let everyone learn to say NO to piracy.
------------------------------------
Heard Shilpa Shetty's mom flew to london this week to be with her daughter(in times of publicity). What a cheap act!!!
------------------------------------
Latest incident at Nithari where Lawyers manhandled accused killers was a shame, especially when Lawyers were involved. Sincerly think that law should take its own course in punishing whoever breaks the law.
------------------------------------
And talking of next US president, I think it's Hilary Clinton.
------------------------------------
Have a nice weekend...
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Thoughts
Shilpa Shetty, Jade Goody and Big Brother are all famous now. Only they know whether it was staged managed or real. While Shilpa did suffer from nasty comments, she would not have imagined herself splashed all over major newspaper heading round the world. Even Ashwariya must be hating Shilpa for taking all the limelight from her on her engagement week. And poor Jade has lost all...
My two cents - Not all whites are racial and that real noble thing for Shilpa would be to forgive Jade. It is good that such incidents bring racial issues into discussion but at the same time we all should get over it. Afterall we all discriminate against each other one way or other.
Did I say - I just love Shilpa Shetty. Stunning looks with drop dead figure. Wish she had a sweet voice. But then no one is made perfect.
--------------------------
It is good to see Ganguly back in Team and with runs. I hope he stays around with many more runs to come.
--------------------------
I wonder where is Paris Hilton these days. Isn't it time already for her to come up with some antics?
--------------------------
Now finally it seems winter and snow is here in Northeast. More than a month late but most welcome. Looks like we are closer to doomsday with global warming just as can be seen in movie ICE AGE meltdown. Even God would be waiting not to save us from impending catastrophe.
Still -- Cheers everyone!!!
My two cents - Not all whites are racial and that real noble thing for Shilpa would be to forgive Jade. It is good that such incidents bring racial issues into discussion but at the same time we all should get over it. Afterall we all discriminate against each other one way or other.
Did I say - I just love Shilpa Shetty. Stunning looks with drop dead figure. Wish she had a sweet voice. But then no one is made perfect.
--------------------------
It is good to see Ganguly back in Team and with runs. I hope he stays around with many more runs to come.
--------------------------
I wonder where is Paris Hilton these days. Isn't it time already for her to come up with some antics?
--------------------------
Now finally it seems winter and snow is here in Northeast. More than a month late but most welcome. Looks like we are closer to doomsday with global warming just as can be seen in movie ICE AGE meltdown. Even God would be waiting not to save us from impending catastrophe.
Still -- Cheers everyone!!!
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Stupid Questions
Got this in email forward today... I am ready next time...;)
At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.
In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't you try again?
At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?
At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer Butter Masala" dish good?
Answer: No, it's terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit on it.
At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years.
Stupid Question: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer: Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying well?
Answer: No, he's a miserable wife beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money.
When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question: Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer: No, its autumn and I'm shedding.
At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts?
Answer: No it won't. It will just bleed.
AND FINALLY…….
When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question: Sorry. Were you sleeping?
Answer: No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. And you thought I was sleeping.... You dumb witted moron.
At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.
In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't you try again?
At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?
At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer Butter Masala" dish good?
Answer: No, it's terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit on it.
At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years.
Stupid Question: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer: Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying well?
Answer: No, he's a miserable wife beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money.
When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question: Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer: No, its autumn and I'm shedding.
At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts?
Answer: No it won't. It will just bleed.
AND FINALLY…….
When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question: Sorry. Were you sleeping?
Answer: No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. And you thought I was sleeping.... You dumb witted moron.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Jokes
Blind Date
"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her 21 year old roommate.
"Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive classic car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner."
--------------------------------
A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications he waited anxiously for the outcome. The employer read all his applications & said, "We have an opening for people like you."
"Oh, great," the man said, "What is it?"
"It's called the door!".
--------------------------------
The biggest beer producers in the world meet for a conference, and at the end of the day, the presidents of all the beer companies decide to have a drink together at a bar.
The president of Budweiser naturally orders a Bud, the president of Miller orders a Miller, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and so on down the list.
Then the bartender asks Arthur Guinness what he wants to drink, and to everybody's amazement, he orders tea!
"Why don't you order a Guinness?" his colleagues ask suspiciously, wondering if they've stumbled on an embarrassing secret.
"Naaaah," replies Guinness. "If you guys aren't going to drink beer, then neither will I."
"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her 21 year old roommate.
"Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive classic car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner."
--------------------------------
A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications he waited anxiously for the outcome. The employer read all his applications & said, "We have an opening for people like you."
"Oh, great," the man said, "What is it?"
"It's called the door!".
--------------------------------
The biggest beer producers in the world meet for a conference, and at the end of the day, the presidents of all the beer companies decide to have a drink together at a bar.
The president of Budweiser naturally orders a Bud, the president of Miller orders a Miller, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and so on down the list.
Then the bartender asks Arthur Guinness what he wants to drink, and to everybody's amazement, he orders tea!
"Why don't you order a Guinness?" his colleagues ask suspiciously, wondering if they've stumbled on an embarrassing secret.
"Naaaah," replies Guinness. "If you guys aren't going to drink beer, then neither will I."
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Wedding blues
Dodging the wedding bullet until this year, family decides this is it. Ultimatum stands at May 2007. Means I just have few months of freedom :(
After not-so successful love affairs, arranged proposals looks like where I am headed. In fact, process got into quick start this month. Couple of proposals looked good but not what I/family really wanted.
Always thought there are countless girls around but when it comes to decision making, countless seems waiting-to-count. All this looked simple and smooth but just that thought of getting married to someone who would be with you for rest of your life makes for lots of anxiety.
Will keep this space updated.
After not-so successful love affairs, arranged proposals looks like where I am headed. In fact, process got into quick start this month. Couple of proposals looked good but not what I/family really wanted.
Always thought there are countless girls around but when it comes to decision making, countless seems waiting-to-count. All this looked simple and smooth but just that thought of getting married to someone who would be with you for rest of your life makes for lots of anxiety.
Will keep this space updated.
Monday, November 20, 2006
ID Please...
This last weekend, I was shopping at local outlet mall. In one of the shop, as I stood in line at the counter, a lady at front was arguing at top of her voice with cashier. She was not happy when asked for some photo identification. Apparently she had used credit card and cashier wanted to see her ID as part of store policy.
I personally feel that we as a customer should actually be comfortable with store asking for identity. Especially since we are living in age of identity theft. Credit cards do not have any pin in general and hence more prone to being misused in case of it getting lost or stolen. If every store checks the id of person using cards, chances of someone using someone else card would go down drastically. Ofcourse this would be an inconvenience but then isnt that much better than crying later on?
What do you think?
I personally feel that we as a customer should actually be comfortable with store asking for identity. Especially since we are living in age of identity theft. Credit cards do not have any pin in general and hence more prone to being misused in case of it getting lost or stolen. If every store checks the id of person using cards, chances of someone using someone else card would go down drastically. Ofcourse this would be an inconvenience but then isnt that much better than crying later on?
What do you think?
Friday, November 17, 2006
Jokes
More Jokes....
----------------------------------------------
On a flight James bond was sitting next to a Telugu guy.
Telugu Guy: "Hello, May I know your name please?"
James Bond: "My name is Bond" Continuing in his inimitable style, "Bond...James Bond"
Then Bond asks: "And you?"
Telugu Guy: My name is Rao...
Siva Rao...
Samba Siva Rao...
Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
James Bond faints...... ......... .....
----------------------------------------------
Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?" .
The barman says "Yes, thats them."
So the guy walks over and says,"Hello, what are u guys doing?"
Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"
Guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."
The guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!! !"
Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, " See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"
----------------------------------------------
Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
----------------------------------------------
On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.
----------------------------------------------
Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents
----------------------------------------------
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
----------------------------------------------
On a flight James bond was sitting next to a Telugu guy.
Telugu Guy: "Hello, May I know your name please?"
James Bond: "My name is Bond" Continuing in his inimitable style, "Bond...James Bond"
Then Bond asks: "And you?"
Telugu Guy: My name is Rao...
Siva Rao...
Samba Siva Rao...
Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
James Bond faints...... ......... .....
----------------------------------------------
Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?" .
The barman says "Yes, thats them."
So the guy walks over and says,"Hello, what are u guys doing?"
Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"
Guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."
The guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!! !"
Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, " See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"
----------------------------------------------
Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
----------------------------------------------
On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.
----------------------------------------------
Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents
----------------------------------------------
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
men v/s women
Men are better friends than women....Example:
Women:
A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the very next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over night. The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriend's and none of them confirm that.
Men:
A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!
Moral of the story: Men are better friends!!!!
Disclaimer : Not my lines. Got them as forward in my inbox.
Women:
A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the very next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over night. The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriend's and none of them confirm that.
Men:
A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!
Moral of the story: Men are better friends!!!!
Disclaimer : Not my lines. Got them as forward in my inbox.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Hyderabadi Joke
This is really long conversational joke - typical hyderabadi style. You will really love it if you know hyderabadi accent. Here it goes -
In Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny. His name is Chotu.
His father is ambitious to educate Chotu. Chotu goes to school located in Tappachaputra. Its principal is educated in Urdu high school and claims that he passed tenth class! There is a school inspection the next day and the conversation is as follows :
Teacher: Kal inispector ayinga. Kochchanaa (questions) puchinga. Sab achchaa padkey aau. Koi galath answer deengaa naa tho main uske pairaan thodtoom.
Chotu: Iski maakki. Kyun aara inispector? Kaam nai hai usku? Kya kochchanaa puchta kathey?
Teacher: Abey tereku kaiku re, tu kal school aanaaich nai. Tu tera moo khola to gaaliaan ati. Tereku main absent nai daalthaum. Ghar pe baithkey gotiyaan khel. Tu school aayingaa to inispector ke saamney mere izzat ki biryaani karke khaaingaa tu.
So our Chotu is excited, goes home and tells his father that he is not going to school the next day.
Father: Yeah kyaa hai..ischool hai paan ka dabba hai? Gaand pa maartoom saale tu ischool nai gaya to.
Chotu: Arey Bava, mera teacher bola nakko aao bolke.
Father: Usku akhal hai! Begum suno! Chotu ischool nai jayinga kathey kal. Agar ino ischool nai gaya to kaise padhinga?Chotu, agar tu kal ischool nahin gaya naa, tere haathan pairaan thod daaltaum.
So Chotu cries and finally agrees to go to school. Next day at inschool, Teacher is very upset to see Chotu back:
Teacher: Arey teri maakki. Nakko aao bole to bhi kyun aaya re?
Chotu: Mera bava gaand phodtum bola ischool nai gaya to.
Teacher: offo?! Tera bava bola? Theek hai chal. Last bench pe baith aur inispector aya to chchup jaa. Dikhnaich nai. Kuch bhi gadbad karinga naa meri noukri bulle mein mil jayingi.
So Chotu goes to sit in the last bench hiding behind a tall guy. Inspector comes for the visit.
Inspector: Adaab.
Teacher: Adaab saab. Bachen acha padrain saab Kochchanaa puchey to answeraan yun bolte.
Inspector: Abaa? Offo! Itte kilever (clever) hai aapke bachchey? Achchaa, ek bahuth easy sawaal - Hamarey body mein sab se nazook cheez kaun si hai?
Teacher: Arey Imtiyaz tu bata rey!
Imtiyaz: Saab, Khaleja saab.
Inspector: Aisa! ..... woh kyun?
Imtiyaz: Saab, khaleja hai to sab kuch hota. Agar woh gaya naa, kuch bhi nahin hota saab.
Inspector: Abaa, kya tez potta hai rey! Aur koi?
Teacher: Arey Akram, tu bata re.
Akram: Saab bheja saab. Bhejey ku khuch bhi hua to kuch yaad nahin rehta saab. Haathaan pairaan kaam nai karthey,iscooter ku kick bhi nai maar sakthey saab.
Inspector: Abey Teacher, kya kya padaaraa re inku tu. Chutiye ke jaisa answeraan bolrai naa!!
In the meantime Chotu is trying very hard to hide but Inspector sees him. He thinks Chotu is hiding because he does not know the answer.
Inspector: Woh last bench pe yun jhuk ke baithaa naa woh pottey ka naam kya hai?
Teacher: kaun saab? .......Woh! (iski bhain ku, kaiku dikhaa re tu) Woh Chotu hai saab.
Inspector: Chotu? Ye kya naam hai? Kahan-kahan se lagaathey re bhai naamaan! Chotu, woh lambu ke peechchey kaiku chchup raa tu?
Chotu: Saab main moo khola to teacher maaringi saab.
Inspector: Tereku yaa mereku??
Teacher: Arey kya baath kar reh saab, main kaiku maarthaum. Ye potta ekdam badmaash hai saab, jhoot bolraa. Abey Chotu, answer maloom hain to bol nai tho khaamoosh baith jaa mere baap tere pau padthaum.
Chotu: Saab answer Gaand hai saab.
Teacher: Allaa!! Ine moo khola meri naukri bulle lag gayi re!!!
Inspector: Abey kyaa to bhi bolra re! Sharam kar badon ke saamney aisaich baathaan karthey! Yeich sikhaaye tumhaarey amma-bavaa? Gaand kahaan kaan ka answer hai re?
Chotu: Hau saab, gaand ich sabse naazook cheez hai. Kaiku bole tho wahaan pe dilli mein baamb phata....Yahan Hydrabad mein apni gaand phat thi.. Yahaan old city mein gadbadaan shuru hothey....wahaan new city mein sabki gaand phat thi gadbadaan wahaan phailtey kyaaki bolkey. Udhar kyoon saab, main yeh answer bolraun naa, mere teacher ki gaand phatrai dekho!
Hope u liked it !!!
Disclaimer - Not my lines, received this thru email forward long back.
In Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny. His name is Chotu.
His father is ambitious to educate Chotu. Chotu goes to school located in Tappachaputra. Its principal is educated in Urdu high school and claims that he passed tenth class! There is a school inspection the next day and the conversation is as follows :
Teacher: Kal inispector ayinga. Kochchanaa (questions) puchinga. Sab achchaa padkey aau. Koi galath answer deengaa naa tho main uske pairaan thodtoom.
Chotu: Iski maakki. Kyun aara inispector? Kaam nai hai usku? Kya kochchanaa puchta kathey?
Teacher: Abey tereku kaiku re, tu kal school aanaaich nai. Tu tera moo khola to gaaliaan ati. Tereku main absent nai daalthaum. Ghar pe baithkey gotiyaan khel. Tu school aayingaa to inispector ke saamney mere izzat ki biryaani karke khaaingaa tu.
So our Chotu is excited, goes home and tells his father that he is not going to school the next day.
Father: Yeah kyaa hai..ischool hai paan ka dabba hai? Gaand pa maartoom saale tu ischool nai gaya to.
Chotu: Arey Bava, mera teacher bola nakko aao bolke.
Father: Usku akhal hai! Begum suno! Chotu ischool nai jayinga kathey kal. Agar ino ischool nai gaya to kaise padhinga?Chotu, agar tu kal ischool nahin gaya naa, tere haathan pairaan thod daaltaum.
So Chotu cries and finally agrees to go to school. Next day at inschool, Teacher is very upset to see Chotu back:
Teacher: Arey teri maakki. Nakko aao bole to bhi kyun aaya re?
Chotu: Mera bava gaand phodtum bola ischool nai gaya to.
Teacher: offo?! Tera bava bola? Theek hai chal. Last bench pe baith aur inispector aya to chchup jaa. Dikhnaich nai. Kuch bhi gadbad karinga naa meri noukri bulle mein mil jayingi.
So Chotu goes to sit in the last bench hiding behind a tall guy. Inspector comes for the visit.
Inspector: Adaab.
Teacher: Adaab saab. Bachen acha padrain saab Kochchanaa puchey to answeraan yun bolte.
Inspector: Abaa? Offo! Itte kilever (clever) hai aapke bachchey? Achchaa, ek bahuth easy sawaal - Hamarey body mein sab se nazook cheez kaun si hai?
Teacher: Arey Imtiyaz tu bata rey!
Imtiyaz: Saab, Khaleja saab.
Inspector: Aisa! ..... woh kyun?
Imtiyaz: Saab, khaleja hai to sab kuch hota. Agar woh gaya naa, kuch bhi nahin hota saab.
Inspector: Abaa, kya tez potta hai rey! Aur koi?
Teacher: Arey Akram, tu bata re.
Akram: Saab bheja saab. Bhejey ku khuch bhi hua to kuch yaad nahin rehta saab. Haathaan pairaan kaam nai karthey,iscooter ku kick bhi nai maar sakthey saab.
Inspector: Abey Teacher, kya kya padaaraa re inku tu. Chutiye ke jaisa answeraan bolrai naa!!
In the meantime Chotu is trying very hard to hide but Inspector sees him. He thinks Chotu is hiding because he does not know the answer.
Inspector: Woh last bench pe yun jhuk ke baithaa naa woh pottey ka naam kya hai?
Teacher: kaun saab? .......Woh! (iski bhain ku, kaiku dikhaa re tu) Woh Chotu hai saab.
Inspector: Chotu? Ye kya naam hai? Kahan-kahan se lagaathey re bhai naamaan! Chotu, woh lambu ke peechchey kaiku chchup raa tu?
Chotu: Saab main moo khola to teacher maaringi saab.
Inspector: Tereku yaa mereku??
Teacher: Arey kya baath kar reh saab, main kaiku maarthaum. Ye potta ekdam badmaash hai saab, jhoot bolraa. Abey Chotu, answer maloom hain to bol nai tho khaamoosh baith jaa mere baap tere pau padthaum.
Chotu: Saab answer Gaand hai saab.
Teacher: Allaa!! Ine moo khola meri naukri bulle lag gayi re!!!
Inspector: Abey kyaa to bhi bolra re! Sharam kar badon ke saamney aisaich baathaan karthey! Yeich sikhaaye tumhaarey amma-bavaa? Gaand kahaan kaan ka answer hai re?
Chotu: Hau saab, gaand ich sabse naazook cheez hai. Kaiku bole tho wahaan pe dilli mein baamb phata....Yahan Hydrabad mein apni gaand phat thi.. Yahaan old city mein gadbadaan shuru hothey....wahaan new city mein sabki gaand phat thi gadbadaan wahaan phailtey kyaaki bolkey. Udhar kyoon saab, main yeh answer bolraun naa, mere teacher ki gaand phatrai dekho!
Hope u liked it !!!
Disclaimer - Not my lines, received this thru email forward long back.
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