Monday, November 20, 2006

ID Please...

This last weekend, I was shopping at local outlet mall. In one of the shop, as I stood in line at the counter, a lady at front was arguing at top of her voice with cashier. She was not happy when asked for some photo identification. Apparently she had used credit card and cashier wanted to see her ID as part of store policy.

I personally feel that we as a customer should actually be comfortable with store asking for identity. Especially since we are living in age of identity theft. Credit cards do not have any pin in general and hence more prone to being misused in case of it getting lost or stolen. If every store checks the id of person using cards, chances of someone using someone else card would go down drastically. Ofcourse this would be an inconvenience but then isnt that much better than crying later on?

What do you think?

Friday, November 17, 2006

Jokes

More Jokes....

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On a flight James bond was sitting next to a Telugu guy.

Telugu Guy: "Hello, May I know your name please?"

James Bond: "My name is Bond" Continuing in his inimitable style, "Bond...James Bond"

Then Bond asks: "And you?"

Telugu Guy: My name is Rao...
Siva Rao...
Samba Siva Rao...
Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...


James Bond faints...... ......... .....

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Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?" .

The barman says "Yes, thats them."

So the guy walks over and says,"Hello, what are u guys doing?"

Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"

Guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."

The guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!! !"

Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, " See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"


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Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

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On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

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Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents

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Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

men v/s women

Men are better friends than women....Example:


Women:

A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the very next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over night. The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriend's and none of them confirm that.

Men:

A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!

Moral of the story: Men are better friends!!!!

Disclaimer : Not my lines. Got them as forward in my inbox.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Hyderabadi Joke

This is really long conversational joke - typical hyderabadi style. You will really love it if you know hyderabadi accent. Here it goes -

In Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny. His name is Chotu.

His father is ambitious to educate Chotu. Chotu goes to school located in Tappachaputra. Its principal is educated in Urdu high school and claims that he passed tenth class! There is a school inspection the next day and the conversation is as follows :

Teacher: Kal inispector ayinga. Kochchanaa (questions) puchinga. Sab achchaa padkey aau. Koi galath answer deengaa naa tho main uske pairaan thodtoom.

Chotu: Iski maakki. Kyun aara inispector? Kaam nai hai usku? Kya kochchanaa puchta kathey?

Teacher: Abey tereku kaiku re, tu kal school aanaaich nai. Tu tera moo khola to gaaliaan ati. Tereku main absent nai daalthaum. Ghar pe baithkey gotiyaan khel. Tu school aayingaa to inispector ke saamney mere izzat ki biryaani karke khaaingaa tu.

So our Chotu is excited, goes home and tells his father that he is not going to school the next day.

Father: Yeah kyaa hai..ischool hai paan ka dabba hai? Gaand pa maartoom saale tu ischool nai gaya to.

Chotu: Arey Bava, mera teacher bola nakko aao bolke.
Father: Usku akhal hai! Begum suno! Chotu ischool nai jayinga kathey kal. Agar ino ischool nai gaya to kaise padhinga?Chotu, agar tu kal ischool nahin gaya naa, tere haathan pairaan thod daaltaum.

So Chotu cries and finally agrees to go to school. Next day at inschool, Teacher is very upset to see Chotu back:

Teacher: Arey teri maakki. Nakko aao bole to bhi kyun aaya re?

Chotu: Mera bava gaand phodtum bola ischool nai gaya to.

Teacher: offo?! Tera bava bola? Theek hai chal. Last bench pe baith aur inispector aya to chchup jaa. Dikhnaich nai. Kuch bhi gadbad karinga naa meri noukri bulle mein mil jayingi.

So Chotu goes to sit in the last bench hiding behind a tall guy. Inspector comes for the visit.

Inspector: Adaab.

Teacher: Adaab saab. Bachen acha padrain saab Kochchanaa puchey to answeraan yun bolte.

Inspector: Abaa? Offo! Itte kilever (clever) hai aapke bachchey? Achchaa, ek bahuth easy sawaal - Hamarey body mein sab se nazook cheez kaun si hai?

Teacher: Arey Imtiyaz tu bata rey!

Imtiyaz: Saab, Khaleja saab.

Inspector: Aisa! ..... woh kyun?

Imtiyaz: Saab, khaleja hai to sab kuch hota. Agar woh gaya naa, kuch bhi nahin hota saab.

Inspector: Abaa, kya tez potta hai rey! Aur koi?

Teacher: Arey Akram, tu bata re.

Akram: Saab bheja saab. Bhejey ku khuch bhi hua to kuch yaad nahin rehta saab. Haathaan pairaan kaam nai karthey,iscooter ku kick bhi nai maar sakthey saab.

Inspector: Abey Teacher, kya kya padaaraa re inku tu. Chutiye ke jaisa answeraan bolrai naa!!

In the meantime Chotu is trying very hard to hide but Inspector sees him. He thinks Chotu is hiding because he does not know the answer.

Inspector: Woh last bench pe yun jhuk ke baithaa naa woh pottey ka naam kya hai?

Teacher: kaun saab? .......Woh! (iski bhain ku, kaiku dikhaa re tu) Woh Chotu hai saab.

Inspector: Chotu? Ye kya naam hai? Kahan-kahan se lagaathey re bhai naamaan! Chotu, woh lambu ke peechchey kaiku chchup raa tu?

Chotu: Saab main moo khola to teacher maaringi saab.

Inspector: Tereku yaa mereku??

Teacher: Arey kya baath kar reh saab, main kaiku maarthaum. Ye potta ekdam badmaash hai saab, jhoot bolraa. Abey Chotu, answer maloom hain to bol nai tho khaamoosh baith jaa mere baap tere pau padthaum.

Chotu: Saab answer Gaand hai saab.

Teacher: Allaa!! Ine moo khola meri naukri bulle lag gayi re!!!

Inspector: Abey kyaa to bhi bolra re! Sharam kar badon ke saamney aisaich baathaan karthey! Yeich sikhaaye tumhaarey amma-bavaa? Gaand kahaan kaan ka answer hai re?

Chotu: Hau saab, gaand ich sabse naazook cheez hai. Kaiku bole tho wahaan pe dilli mein baamb phata....Yahan Hydrabad mein apni gaand phat thi.. Yahaan old city mein gadbadaan shuru hothey....wahaan new city mein sabki gaand phat thi gadbadaan wahaan phailtey kyaaki bolkey. Udhar kyoon saab, main yeh answer bolraun naa, mere teacher ki gaand phatrai dekho!

Hope u liked it !!!


Disclaimer - Not my lines, received this thru email forward long back.

Update

Couldn't update this slate with new post for a while due to some emergency. Back up now.