ClassiC DefinitionS & CooL MeaningS
1.Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3.Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4.Divorce:Future tense of marriage
5.Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7.Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8.Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..
9.Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10.Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11.Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12.Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
13.Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15.Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16.Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17.Committee:Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
18.Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
19.Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20.Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21.Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22.Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23.Optimist : A person who while falling from EiffelTowersays in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24.Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25.Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26.Father: A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28.Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29.Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30.Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills!!
Monday, August 28, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Monday, August 21, 2006
Funny Applications
Got this in email today and some of the lines literally cracked me up aloud. Some of you might have read this already but here it goes.
_____________________
This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India ...
1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.
2. This is from Oracle Bangalore:From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."
3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."
4. From H.A.L . Administration dept:"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
6. An incident of a leave letter"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."
7. A leave letter to the headmaster:"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."
9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."
10. Another one: "Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."
11. Actual letter written for application of leave:"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
12. Letter writing: -"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."
13. A candidate's job application:"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'...As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post .
Smile please :-)
_____________________
This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India ...
1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.
2. This is from Oracle Bangalore:From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."
3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."
4. From H.A.L . Administration dept:"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
6. An incident of a leave letter"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."
7. A leave letter to the headmaster:"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."
9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."
10. Another one: "Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."
11. Actual letter written for application of leave:"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
12. Letter writing: -"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."
13. A candidate's job application:"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'...As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post .
Smile please :-)
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Baby Talks.
Most of my friends are married and have kid or two. What I have noticed is that few of them just go on and on about thier kids all the time. Right from what words they learnt yesterday to what they were wearing in morning and what food they eat in afternoon and on what side of the bed they slept in evening.
Like this office co-worker of mine. I am subjected to baby stories every time I come across her. In the begining I was all ears but gradually all the stories have just been getting longer and more details. I really dont know what to say about each of those 384 baby pictures in that album she brings to me.
I do understand that all parents have cute babies and kids mean a lot to them. But do you really have to bore someone to death by sharing every minute details of what your baby did/does/do? I am not being mean here but I really think there is a line at which you should stop. I try to keep a smiling face when these stories start but sometimes even my face gives away. I really wish people know when to stop.
What do you think - Is it just me?
Like this office co-worker of mine. I am subjected to baby stories every time I come across her. In the begining I was all ears but gradually all the stories have just been getting longer and more details. I really dont know what to say about each of those 384 baby pictures in that album she brings to me.
I do understand that all parents have cute babies and kids mean a lot to them. But do you really have to bore someone to death by sharing every minute details of what your baby did/does/do? I am not being mean here but I really think there is a line at which you should stop. I try to keep a smiling face when these stories start but sometimes even my face gives away. I really wish people know when to stop.
What do you think - Is it just me?
Monday, August 14, 2006
Ogle Google
Email forward from a friend which cracked me up. Might not be the best google ad ever but indeed the one to ogle at.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Identity Theft
Talking further on Identity Theft, I can relate one of my personal experience. Couple of years back, I used to chat with my net pals on Yahoo chat rooms. We used to hear about email getting hacked and how easy it was to hack any password. I always knew that passwords could be hacked but I didn't realize how easy it was for someone to go into our account. Yupe, until my email got hacked repeatedly by fellow chatter.
He had all the access to our emails and he was proud to showcase his skills openly in chatroom. Smart thing I did(lucky me) was that I always used dummy email id to chat. But what worried me was the claim by this guy that it is just easy to hack any password and that he got the how-to from google itself. I knew for sure that he wasn't a big time hacker. He said he meant no harm but I was already fuming with nothing else I could do. Complaints to Yahoo are not entertained. I guess they just couldn't be bothered.
Some friends said the emails with no username/subject/body was to blame and some said opening some attachments makes you prone to hacking. Whatever but google of this topic just made me realize how easy it was for others to get your information.
Just think for a moment, someone is able to access your email account which you have used in some website around the internet. How unsettling it would be?
Lessons I learned that day:
-- Never store personal information in free email accounts which do not use secure https connections.
-- Keep changing your password quite often.
-- Never make your email id public.
-- Use seperate account for personal correspondence and others for public use.
-- Delete all spam without opening.
And above all, Use upto date firewall and anti-virus protection.
Please protect your information, it is more private, it is more worthy and it is just yours, than you may realize.
He had all the access to our emails and he was proud to showcase his skills openly in chatroom. Smart thing I did(lucky me) was that I always used dummy email id to chat. But what worried me was the claim by this guy that it is just easy to hack any password and that he got the how-to from google itself. I knew for sure that he wasn't a big time hacker. He said he meant no harm but I was already fuming with nothing else I could do. Complaints to Yahoo are not entertained. I guess they just couldn't be bothered.
Some friends said the emails with no username/subject/body was to blame and some said opening some attachments makes you prone to hacking. Whatever but google of this topic just made me realize how easy it was for others to get your information.
Just think for a moment, someone is able to access your email account which you have used in some website around the internet. How unsettling it would be?
Lessons I learned that day:
-- Never store personal information in free email accounts which do not use secure https connections.
-- Keep changing your password quite often.
-- Never make your email id public.
-- Use seperate account for personal correspondence and others for public use.
-- Delete all spam without opening.
And above all, Use upto date firewall and anti-virus protection.
Please protect your information, it is more private, it is more worthy and it is just yours, than you may realize.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Deadly Stupidity.
CNN news : A waitress at a bar was checking photo id to see if customer was old enough to drink. Guess what? Customer was flashing driver's license which belonged to waitress herself. Case of identity theft right back to victim's face. Check this link for this news,
http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/08/01/bar.id.ap/index.html
How stupid can one get? Check out more at www.darwinawards.com. I am sure you will be carried away by long read. Have fun.
http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/08/01/bar.id.ap/index.html
How stupid can one get? Check out more at www.darwinawards.com. I am sure you will be carried away by long read. Have fun.
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