Monday, August 28, 2006

Definitions/Meanings.

ClassiC DefinitionS & CooL MeaningS

1.Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3.Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

4.Divorce:Future tense of marriage

5.Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7.Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8.Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..

9.Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10.Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11.Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12.Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

13.Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15.Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16.Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17.Committee:Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18.Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

19.Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20.Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

21.Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22.Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23.Optimist : A person who while falling from EiffelTowersays in midway "See I am not injured yet."

24.Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25.Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26.Father: A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

28.Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29.Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

30.Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills!!

23 comments:

Vaibhav said...

Nice one ....

Keshi said...

**4.Divorce:Future tense of marriage


I like that one lol!


whats wrong, u dun wanna visit my blog anymore? awww...


Keshi.

ishita said...

lol...this was lotsa fun!:D

can't pick and choose which was funnier...:P

thanks fr all d laughs:)

Fresh Ink said...

*LOL*...good one!

Mayur said...

yeah kool definitions dude! :)

tulipspeaks said...

Divorce:Future tense of marriage

only if u intend to :)

nice bloggie

=ammu=

shruti said...

nice definition..
want to make one change if permitted so..
dictionary: a palce where death comes before life......

Shankari said...

I like the the definition of yawn the best!

Mumbai Guy said...

Vaibhav, Thanks.

Keshi, I do visit your space. Sometimes I just like to read. Afraid you'll scold me. ;)

Ishita, thank you. Please do not pick any, leave them where they are ;)

fresh Ink, Thanks.

Mayur, Hope you like new place.

Amutha, that is just the definitions and more so for fun. I really wish no one head that way.

Shruti, Go on and add the lines. Not a problem. I would love if things would really follow that way ;)

Shankari, any update on that bone-marrow girl?

Keshi said...

why wud I scold ya? awww :):)

Keshi.

Yashita said...

lol...nice long list:) and yeah the google ad was good...came here after a long time, so missed that...btw guess wat? just after I read ur identity theft post,someone cracked into my Y acct:(...now am being more cautious!:(

Mumbai Guy said...

Yashita, hopefully you have secured all your mail content. Take care.

Keshi, juz my feelins. ;)

Keshi said...

no no Im not a school-teacher :)

Keshi.

Dh@v@! said...

tooo good dude... my fav 2,13,14,15,16...in fact all...
thnx for sharing dude..

Seema said...

hehe good one...loved the one on Conference room n opportunity though !

ketki said...

good post!
thats all i can say!

L!n said...

Hehe. Great defintions. :)
I LOLed.

RandomThoughts said...

Loved them all! Read some before & the rest ..hilariouis!

Rashmi.

Krithika said...

hey sweet post! :) marriage,divorce and smile were gud
-first time here and new to blogging too

Anupama said...

Hey Mumbai Guy, Did you make all those definitions yourself? They are relly cool. And thanx for dropping by at my blog.

Mumbai Guy said...

Rashmi, Kritika, Anu : Thanks for stopping by.

No, None of the lines defined by me. Got them in email forwards. Liked them and thought everyone would enjoy.

Priyankari said...

hey great ones, the one of boss is very true. was a bit gloomy since morning. now laughed a lot.thanx to ur blog!

darkness said...

I especially liked the definition of Lecture... coz unfortunately that the kind of interaction we have with our professors at a highly overrated coll of DU.